The Thriving Christian Artist
The Thriving Christian Artist
Navigating Grief and Loss as an Artist
After experiencing the loss of a loved one, how do you find the strength to keep your creative passion alive? Join me, Matt Tommey, as I share personal stories of navigating grief and life’s toughest seasons, inspired by a touching journey from our Created to Thrive Artist Mentoring Program. A participant faced the heartbreaking loss of her husband, echoing my own experiences with my mother's illness and passing. Through these stories, we highlight the crucial need to embrace change, seek support, and adjust our creative rhythms, rather than succumbing to the facade of normalcy and risking burnout.
Explore how personal grief and external pressures can suffocate creativity, especially when the demand to monetize our art intensifies. We'll discuss the power of using art as a meditative practice to heal and reconnect with spirituality. Emphasizing the importance of stepping back from the relentless hustle, I encourage finding joy in community activities, like teaching local classes or forming support groups. Together, we'll discover the transformative power of rest, reflection, and faith, allowing ourselves the grace to pause and process life's seismic shifts, ultimately enriching our creative journey with renewed purpose and inspiration.
Join us inside the Created to Thrive Artist Mentoring Program at http://www.matttommeymentoring.com/artmentor
Welcome to the Thriving Christian Artist the podcast, where we hope you connect with God to bust through the roadblocks that have held you back for years, create the work you love and really live the life you know. God created you to live as an artist in His kingdom. I'm Matt Tommey, your host. Let's get started. Well, hey, friends, welcome to the podcast. I'm Matt Tommy, your host, and super glad that you are here. I want to kind of share with you an experience I had this week in helping someone in our Created to Thrive Artist Mentoring Program about how to walk through a real difficult season that they were having in their life. You know one of the things that I think we often overlook in life, especially as artists who maybe you're kind of like me, you're type A you like to get things done. You like to, you know, make, make you feel like you're moving in the right direction and accomplishing things. You know, with the Lord and all that, when you go through a period of maybe sickness or death or grief in your family or just things you know aren't working out, family trouble or financial issues whatever, it can be really, really difficult to keep creating and keep doing the things that you know you've always done in the way that you've always done them. I had a student of mine reach out this week and said gosh, man, I've been in the program for for several years now, love it, have had a lot of success in it, but this last year, um, you know, she lost her husband. Uh, he passed away, and that really is a big big deal. Um, and it's just kind of put her in a situation where the the dealing with grief and also dealing with the financial issues that are there now of you know how am I going to live? You know what's my income going to be like and what is the rhythm of life going to be like? I don't feel like myself. All of those things don't exist in a vacuum. They exist right in the middle of your life and where you're trying to be creative as well. And so she is in this kind of situation where she's really struggling to figure out the rhythm of life and the next steps for her as an artist.
Speaker 1:And I think there's so many people that I've met over the years, both in our mentoring program and otherwise, that when they go through a situation like this, they try to just keep going like everything is fine. And thankfully, this person reached out for help and I've been able to give them some feedback. I hope that that is helpful and want to communicate some of that to you today. But I think for all of us that go through issues in our life that kind of rock the foundation of who we are and what we're doing and our perspective on life you can't just keep on pushing through as normal because eventually that is a recipe for overwhelm and frustration and burnout. You can keep doing that for a little while, but ultimately it will come to a big head and be a situation that is usually a big blow up or a big blow out, where you're not able to continue.
Speaker 1:I remember so vividly when my mom moved to Asheville in the fall of 2017, she had wanted to move up there with us for years not in the house with us, but just in the area. She had wanted to move up there with us for years, not in the house where this was, just in the area. She had her own apartment and had sold her house that she had been in forever and moved up there. She was 73 when she moved and great health, you know, as far as we knew, and that sort of thing and immediately came up there, got involved in a church singing in the choir in a community chorale she was a choral director. I mean just did all the stuff right.
Speaker 1:But we figured out pretty quickly when she got up there that things were not okay with her health-wise. And, long story short, you may have heard me say this before, but that spring we found out that she was starting to have some real physical issues. We thought it was osteoporosis, but it turned out to be stage four bone cancer and from early summer until the time that she passed away on September 30th of 2018, our world was just kind of like whoa, what in the world just happened? You're all focused on taking care of mom and making sure that she's comfortable and trying to get treatment and going to doctors, you know. You know appointments and just just all the stuff, not to mention all the emotional toll. That's that's going on in my life and in our family, and trying to balance all that and communicate with my sister who's out of town just all the stuff.
Speaker 1:Many of you who have, who have been through that or are walking through that, now understand how all of that pulls you. And then you turn around and you go oh yeah, I'm an artist and I'm trying to make a living over here. I got a studio and a gallery and commissions are still due and just you know all the stuff. And so I remember trying to just push through that, because that's my, you know, that's typically my normal thing. Well, you know, we'll just get through it, just keep your head down and keep going. And that was so, um, not the thing to do. You know, as I look back on it now, um, and I, I probably knew it then, but it was a, it was a an easy way for me to sort of not realize that, hey, my life's about to change in a huge way.
Speaker 1:My mom, who I have obviously loved my whole life and been in a very deep, you know, close relationship, talk to her every day. This is ending and my life is going to be completely different. And I just tried to push through it. And the more I tried to push through it, the more difficult it got. And then I remember when she passed away. It was kind of crazy. She passed away on like a Sunday morning and her funeral was that next week and then the week out of town, in our hometown, so five hours away.
Speaker 1:Then we came back and like two days later we had one of our biggest gathering of artisans ever and we had 300 or 400 artists coming in from all over the world and I had to speak and lead worship and be leading, and Tanya's in charge of all the administration. I mean we're just like wow. And then right after that, we had to move mom, you know, move all of her stuff out of her apartment, you know, because there's a timeline with that. I mean, life just didn't stop. And I can remember, you know, just keep going, just keep going, just keep doing like everything's doing.
Speaker 1:Well, by the, you know, november, by the time November kind of came around and Thanksgiving and all of that, um, I was just empty on the inside and I kept trying to just push, push, push, push, push, push, push. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't push anymore and every bit of creativity that I had just seemed like it was gone. I would show up for work, you know, doing my, you know making my baskets and meeting with clients and that sort of thing, but I had no creative energy, I had no creative passion, I had no vision. I was literally weaving baskets to make money, to keep food on the table to do what we were doing. That was what I was doing and every bit of creativity that I had inside of me. I felt like it left and, honest to goodness, I feel like it's been gone in my life, really up until about a year and a half, two years ago, when we moved out here to Texas and there's kind of been a reboot, if you will, of my creative life.
Speaker 1:I share all that to say. I know that so many of you are walking, have walked through those sorts of things in your life, and we rarely give ourself enough grace to be able to walk through those things and to say you know what Life has changed. I feel different, I'm grieving, I'm hurting inside. I don't know what to do. There's got to be a change here. There's got to be some time here for me to process my emotions, process my feelings, process maybe the guilt I feel or responsibility I feel or whatever it is that you're walking through, and my friend that was asking me for help this week one of my students in Creative Thrive is in that same sort of situation is like I need to do this and at the same time I feel all this pressure to keep doing everything the way I've been doing it and yet I just can't do it. And I said to her, and I want to say to you guys today, that is okay, it's okay and it's appropriate and it's needed for you to push the pause button on life and be able to say you know what? I've got to take a breather here. I'm not the person that I was. I've had a major trauma happen in my life, a major situation going in my life. I need the time and space to be able to deal with this.
Speaker 1:Now, one of the things that she was talking about you know, she's been kind of a hobbyist artist all these years was starting to build an art business but had not really built it to the place where it was providing for her, you know, full income. And now that her husband's gone, she's in a situation where she's trying to, you know, figure out what that income situation is going to look like for her with, with the savings that she has. And and I said you know as much as I'm a believer in, let's ramp up your art business and let's get it going and in a year we, you could have an incredible income going. And you know, and all that, just all the stuff that we teach inside of of created to thrive. I told her. I said you may need to search out a part-time or full-time job right now in order to just be able to go somewhere, do something that you know is going to make money, you know is going to bring in consistent income, without having all the pressure on you to be able not only to create money and teach, but create and teach at a level that is going to be able to provide an income for you on a regular basis, because, emotionally, right now, you're a mess, and I'm a man, I was a mess. I mean that. That's no, you know that's not talking about. You know putting anybody down. That's like when you go through these situations, you're a mess. The things are are not the way they used to, and so my advice to her was like hey, take the pressure off of your creative process from an income perspective in order to be able to use that creative process and use that creative place for your own enjoyment, your own refilling, your own ability to hear the Lord connect with him, process your emotions, all the things that we need to do as artists and as people to really live in a healthy way, and that was kind of.
Speaker 1:The second part of her question to me was not only am I've got these financial issues I've got to deal with and I'm kind of frustrated with that. You know, now I'm not wanting to create anymore just like I was, feels like my creativity is dead. You know, I just don not wanting to create anymore just like I was, she's like, but feels like my creativity is dead. You know, I just don't have the, the gusto anymore, the want to uh any inside my heart and I'm like, hey again, I think so many times when we're just, we just push through things and we put all this pressure on ourselves to use our creative um, you know, our creative gifting as an income opportunity. That's wonderful and if you are doing that and you have done that, wonderful For me. I'd done it for so long. I had a successful enough business that we were able to push through those things just on autopilot.
Speaker 1:But for many artists that are solopreneurs they're just starting out, they don't really have consistent income yet. That is a ton of pressure and my encouragement to her and it would be to anybody else out there is hey, use your art practice as a meditative place to reconnect with the Lord, allow yourself to grieve and you know, and then do the things that that are bringing you life. If, if teaching you a class locally is going to bring you life, then do that. You know. If, if, maybe starting a small group in your studio, in your home and you're reading a book, together just to be able to connect and support and pray for each other and and talk about your creativity, talk about the grief journey that you're going on, again, wonderful, do things that are going to support you and build you up in the season that you're in.
Speaker 1:Because some of the other things that she was talking about she was like, hey, if I'm going to sell and get in a gallery, I got to get a new body of work and I got to start teaching and I got to get my website up, all this kind of stuff and I'm like, listen, a body of work is only going to emerge out of a place, a place of authentic creativity, a place of real connection with the Lord, a place of real connection creatively. And you can't just gin that up. You know we, we've all done that before. Right, try to just make something, because it will sell. And again, that's not a recipe for creating work and creating a life and a business that really honors the season of life you're in. And so I said, hey, you know, let this body of work come out, as it's going to come out, but let it come from, let it be the fruit of authentically connecting with the Lord and creating.
Speaker 1:First Again, having too much pressure on yourself, especially in a time of processing grief and processing life change or the sickness of a spouse or whatever it might be that is going to give you the opposite effect that you're looking for rather than be a solution. And I told her the same thing about her website. I said you know what you know she had. She ended up letting her website go for a while just because it was, you know, too much for her to keep up with and just lots of different things. And I said, hey, there are tons of artists that are successful. They don't have a website. You can advertise your local classes If you still want to do some of that, through local guilds, through, maybe, local shops or local organizations, that that'll will allow you to teach there.
Speaker 1:She had some other opportunities that were giving her some small opportunities that again she felt connected. She felt like were manageable for her, but wouldn't be all the technology of keeping up with a website. And also, you know, she was like maybe I should teach online classes and all this. Again, I was like you're not in a place right now maybe to to learn all the stuff that it's going to take for you to to start an online you know class platform. And again, I know some of you are probably sitting out there going Matt, you're telling her not to do anything.
Speaker 1:Well, what I'm telling her to do and what I would offer to you guys today is that, again, when you are in a situation where life has changed, where sickness has come in, where now you're a caregiver, maybe for somebody else, where there's been a significant death in the family, where you know some sort of tornado, hurricane, storm is has come into your life and things are different than they were before, I want to give you permission and I would say the Lord gives you permission to simply stand in the middle of that. Rest in Him, trust that he is the author and the finisher of your faith, that he's your provider. He's not going to leave you or forsake you. But, at the same time, you've got to be willing and I've got to be willing to step back from the pressure of striving on our own and telling ourselves we got to just keep pushing in order to make it. Make it through this, my friend, pushing and just continue to act like everything is better and using our own striving activity as a medication, a negative coping mechanism for our own pain, that is not getting us the results that we want. And so, my friend, I would encourage you today again.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you're going through a time in your life where this is really resonating, but I want to let you know you know God is here for you. Jesus died for you. You are his son, you are his daughter. The Holy Spirit is living inside of your heart. He's closer than a brother. He's closer than the breath that you breathe. He's living on the inside of you right now.
Speaker 1:And all the pressure that you're feeling to just keep going and keep striving and keep running around and doing everything that you've always done, in the middle of a place where you want to just sit down and take a breath and maybe grieve or re look at life, I want you to know there's permission for that today, there's grace for that. Today You're in exactly the place that you need to be. God's promise to take care of you has not changed, because you can't participate in that right now. He's going to lead you, he's going to guide you, he's going to provide for you and comfort you and heal you in the way that you need, in the time frame that you need, if you will just let him. And so, my friend, I want to pray for you today. I don't because I get, I just know that there's so many.
Speaker 1:Friend, I want to pray for you today, I don't um, because, again, I just know that there's so many people out there struggling with this. I really want, if this is you, um, just receive this, uh, today. If it's not, you join with me in prayer for others, uh, that are walking through this, because these are the seasons of life where we either make it through or the enemy can use something like this to completely take us out. And so, jesus, we thank you right now, lord, that your word says that it rains on the just and the unjust right In this world. You will have trouble, right, but take heart, you said, because you have overcome the world and God, we thank you that because you have overcome the world and you live in us and we are seated with you in heavenly places. God, we can make it through anything, not because of our own strength, not because of our own striving, but because of your goodness and your grace toward us.
Speaker 1:Father, you know where every person is right now, that's listening to this podcast. You know the life changes, the health issues, the financial situations, lord, the job changes, the relational issues that are all going on, all the stresses of life that are going on right now. And, father, for those that need to just stop and take a breath and allow your spirit to minister to them, to bring healing and peace to them, and for you to reshape and remold their heart in this season so that they're recharged for the next thing that you have for them, God, I pray for great grace right now to be released in that person's life, god, that they would find peace in stopping, peace in sitting down, peace in the Sabbath rest that you've designed for each of us to walk in. I thank you for that, god, in Jesus' name, amen. Hey, my friend, listen. I pray this ministry to you today. If this has, I would love. Pray this minister to you today, if you. If this has.
Speaker 1:I would love to get an email from you. Um, I'd love to hear just your story and how this spoke to you. Um, you can always email us at support at matttommymentoringcom. Let me know that this podcast episode was a blessing. Let me know how it spoke to to your heart and, um, maybe some of the things that you're doing in your life to walk through these seasons of change and uncertainty and difficulty in your life as an artist so that you can continue to walk in everything that God has for you.
Speaker 1:Listen, selling your artwork does not define you as an artist, right? God defines you as an artist when he created you, and there's a lot of different expressions of that artistic gifting in your life. Yes, selling and creating a business is one of them, but also using it to process your life with the Lord and just connect with him for your own enjoyment, for ministry for others just lots and lots and lots of different ways. Don't ever let the enemy tell you that just because you can't do it the way you always did, it doesn't mean that you're not a real artist anymore. You're exactly where you need to be and as you lean into the Lord and gain the knowledge and wisdom and understanding you need in him every day. You will walk in the goodness that God has planned for you.
Speaker 1:I love you, my friend. Thanks for being with me. Until next time, remember, you were created to thrive. Bye, hey. Thanks so much for spending a few minutes with me today on the podcast Listen. I hope it's been a huge encouragement to you on your journey as an artist. Hey, also, before you leave, make sure to hit the subscribe button so you don't miss any of the other episodes of the Thriving Christian Artist podcast, and also be sure to connect with me on Facebook, instagram or at my website, which is matttommymentoringcom. Until next time, remember, you were created to thrive. Bye-bye, thank you.